Nearing the end of '09 ((12.18.09))

So the year is nearing to an end, and christmas is just 7days away.
Stuart and I have been getting this ready and It'll be Addison's 2nd Christmas.


I cant believe its almost christmas, this yr has just flown by.
it seems like just yesterday Addison turned one
and now shes 20months old,
well on her way out of babyhood and into toddlerville.
shes growing up so fast :]
she's getting very smart,
blonde hair, blue eyes,
and the most beautiful smile. My Sunshine.!
i love her. she's got this minnie mouse she carries around now. its almost as big as she is, but she luggs it around anyhow. its kinda funny. its like her baby. lol
she's getting so smart, its amazing,
shes got such personality, deffinately a little charmer. its sooo cute. :]
she loves animals,&
shes very gentle with them. she's a good little girl, im proud of her. :]


I have got to lose this weight before we can even think to try for another.
we miscarried in May(the 15th), so now im on birthcontrol pills (Loestrin 24fe) to prevent.

He failed his brake test by 2,
its the 2nd time he's taken it. which sucks. its a hard test but,
i just think he gets too nervous before taking it, because he knows the stuff.
But it sucks because he cant move up in his job without passing it, and moving up would mean better money.
and he's ready to get a house and get out of an apartment. its getting pretty cramped in here[its a small apartment]


We got snow this yr, it was nice. had it for a few days. veryyy cold. :p

Photos:

Update. 11.24.09

So im going to update, i hardly ever update anymore, I still have to go thanksgiving shopping, But we arent going until wednesday night and i really hope they arent sold out, Im dreading going and things being sold out. I really would like to cook all out this yr. But considering ive never made a turkey or anything yet i'd like to do it this yr. It'll be our 2nd thanksgiving together and we're finally doing pretty well right now. He's been looking at jewelry for christmas. & Being really sweet to me. Its nice. He keeps telling me im great and beautiful and stuff. :)

Christmas.
Im really ready for Christmas already, ready to decorate, the tree, ready to shop. :]

Then New Years is comming. :) and last yr i didnt get to ring it in with him because we had seperated,so i rang it in with with Stace and the girls.

Then Valentines Day is comming.
Our two yr anniversary,
and Then my 22nd birthday.
& His 21st birthday
and Then Addison's 2nd Birthday.


akk, i love my life. :)


Addison Fae: :]


10.31.09







11.22.09













Stuart Wayne:


11.5.09









11.16.09












Cassidy Renae:


10.9.09









10.30.09












Ayden John :
10.15.09









10.30.09








Christopher James
10.10.09





10.25.09











Mom




Oct.'09










Dad


October '09











(& They didnt match up right with names & dates, the photos. but its ok)

:(

Seriously. :( im pretty sure my mother in law HATES me & IS trying to break us up. Fuck my life for sure. Urg. Sadder than ive been in a long time, this fucking sucks, love him too much to lose him over this.!

10.4.09

Watching P.S. I love you. :] watched Changelling with Babes before this. But this movie is awesome. :)
Flying to Houston tomarrow for a month. Going to miss home. But im happy to see friends & family. :]

Fmylife.

For some reason i always tend to forget just how much my mother doesnt like me.
well she deffinately doesnt want me as her daughter.
she adds me to her new facebook page.
one day later she calls me bitching.
after writting all over my wall.
how much she wants to get my face
and updates off of her page.
im her only friend.
they were status messages alot of them old.
and they were not my doing.[putting them on her page]
she bitched and told me to delete her so i would "go away"
way to make me feel loved mom. way to go.
fmylife.

Doctor.

So ive been doing alot of thinking and im ready to go back to school.
get my G.E.D.and go to collage. go to medical school spend ten years
becomming a doctor. even longer if i have to to become what i want.
to make myself and my family proud.
i dont want to not do it. i dont want to keep putting it off.
im already half way through my 21st year.
i should have done this sooner.
but now ive got my head on straight
& ive always wanted this.
now i just have to figure out a way. and i will.
I want it. the late exhusting hrs. the blood. the yuck. the scrubs. all of it.

Finally.

Finally I think the dramatics have calmed down enough to write a blog.
God i hope that they have. Im honestly tired of ignorance & stupidity
.
Stuart and I have been fighting because of it and other things for weeks.
I dont know if we are going to work ourselves out of it this time.
would be nice, i would really hate to think ive wasted another almost 2years
in another failing relationship.

Cassidy is going to have Ayden soon, next month.[Cass 6 1/2months with Ayden]


so i am going to town for the birth. and visiting friends and family.
i dont know how long i will be there yet, maybe 3wks. maybe a month.
i kind of would like to my niece's and nephew for halloween.
since we wont have Addison.
[mother-in-law since i dont know when i'll be back yet]

Anyhow.there isnt much to update on.
Im looking forward to the cool weather.
and currently im watching lifetime movies. oh joy.
i should probably clean, but im still tired.

Dramatics.

Due to Dramatics this is the only blog i will be updating for a long time.
But right now i feel physically ill and my head is spinning from all this bullshit.
therfore i think a good shower and ignoring the net for the rest of the night is what is going to cure this.maybe even longer. im just completely sick of it.