Life, or something like it.

I hadnt updated since the 10th well here ya go, on the 16th we took Chloe's birthmom to court, we won temp custody. plain and simple,we are filing for full permanent custody against her next month.

Chloe- she started school on the 23rd, shes doing great, she loves her new school teach and new friends, her best friend is in her class. im very glad.

Addison- she is nearly fully potty trained now. im so proud of her.!!! she's growing up so fast though.! :/

Stu- hes good. works decent. a few (lazy)guys were fired thou.

Food-Tonight we are making homemade pizza with my amazing bread recipe. yum. :]

Bussiness-Its doing alright. I need to get my ebay up and running for it though.

Our Wedding- Our Wedding Date will be Feb. 18th 2013- sounds kind of far away, but its really not. Just 2.5 more years. we have to get everything planned out and get the money saved and figured out by way before then, since we are paying for it on our own. :] I have however been looking for the details and sketching out things, especially the dress. :D



My Kids:

Venting

So im going to vent because i really need to.
I am so utterly frustrated, yesterday was horrid.
So i looked at Chloe and saw this red mark under her chin, i looked at it closely.
RINGWORM.!
i told her to get undressed and i inspected her for more outbreaks. and found a 2nd one on her leg, then i checked her head for any on her scalp. i didnt find any, but i did find NITS... not kidding.
i wash her hair EVERY day and Fix her hair EVERY day and i have NEVER seen these.
we live in a VERY clean 2bdrm apartment....couldnt be my fault.

on the 2nd her birthmother sent her a box of clothes.
none of them fit except a few tee shirts and a pair of pants...she wears a 7/8 and the clothes raged from sizes 4T-6X...yeah...
anyhow since i found the NITS i asked Chloe if she had LICE before and she said Yeah two times this year.... o.O I asked her if she had ringworm before and she said Yeah on the palm of her hand, i asked if she went to a doctor for it. she said no, i asked her if they put medicine on it, she said NO.
i grabbed my phone, called my bestfriend, grabbed all her paperwork, and walked across the street to the ER. i got her paperwork filed out and took her to see a doctor, the nurse looked at her, and then checked her head and asked me some questions, called the doctor in, he asked me questions then checked her out.
he wrote a couple perscriptions that i cant fill because i dont have insurance for her yet, but she'll have it soon. and the pharmacy was closed anyhow.(small town)(So of course i bought her an anti-fungal spray from the store and RID for lice&eggs., i also used MAYO and rubbing alcohol and really hot water to kill them...)
while we were in the ER Chloe told me that her birth mother's husband had lice in his armpit hair, body lice...seriously.?!!! thats freaking discusting.!!!
& she has the nerve to threaten to come down and get her from me.?!
i have notarized paperwork giving us custody. we will get a lawyer against her.
the box of clothes that she sent had to be the sorce of the problem.she has been fine for a month.! and all of a sudden the box comes and she gets lice and ringworm.?! Yeah, i have it medically documented that she's had lice and ringworm at the same time. and im going to use that against the birthmother. i spent all night washing all the clothes in the house all of the bedding. all of the girls' toys, sprayed EVERYTHING down with lice bedding spray...It was past midnight before anyone got to bed. because they had no-where to sleep. and i hope i killed all of them. the apartment is a big messy wreck because i was so dead tired that i didnt have the energy to reorganize ANYTHING and put EVERYTHING back the way it goes... :(

Let me just say that her piece of shit birthmother deserves to be shot. urg.!!!!



Only 2 good things came of yersterday,
(before checking her for anything.)
Her medical and shot reccords should be transfered
and she's now registered in school,
they should be transfering her transscripts as well. :)

InspiredByPrincesses

Starting my bussiness on Ebay this month, trying to stay hopeful.
Selling TuTus and Hairbows.
(some moms arent intersted in learning or
dont have time to make them, themselves)
Hoping that it takes off.
Because all profits made will go to my kiddos.

For Tutus see entries below.
:]

Pic of some of the bows:

Princess Tutus.

Thanks to samstermommy.blogspot.com

i have been able to make a few lovely TuTus for one of my beautiful little princesses.
I have yet to make any for Addison but i will soon.

Here is her tutorial, its quite simple and quick really.
http://samstermommy.blogspot.com/2009/11/10-minute-tu-tu


Pictures:
The first one.
Blue & Lavender with a pink ribbon instead of elastic.







Tutu number 2
Brown and Green
with a
Teal ribbon. :)
and yes i also made one for her barbie. :)



& Tutu number 3.
Pink
light and dark tulle and pink ribbon.








and yes, i even made the cats tutus. haha.-
i made 4 of the pink,
2 for the cats,
Chloe's
and one for her Barbie,
all matching. :)









Something else.
I have been buying hairbows for the girls.
i may eventually attempt making them.
But i made Chloe's hairbow holder.
i may make Addison one later on too,
but she doesnt have many bows at this point
because she's not liking her hair being up most the time.


I only had kid paint to make it.
and it wasnt easy to paint her name on. :/
so it looks a little meh. but here ya go.





painted that day too and did Chloe's handprints. :)

Back to Public- about me.

I have finally decieded to go back to public on here.
I will keep it that way as long as certain people dont find this blog.
and things stay safe and drama free for me to write, unlike xanga.
I went back to public so that the people i am following on here are able to
know who i am as well. Im up for meeting new people, as long as things stay friendly and drama free.

Okay so heres a little about me.
I am in a commited relationship(his name is Stu)& we will get married in 2013.
(saving up for our wedding)


I am a mother by choice, not situation. what i mean by that is,
I didnt have to be her mother, Chloe's not my biolodgical child.
I choose to be the one that loves and takes care of her.
i choose this life above anything else.
i am 22, i didnt have to,
but this is my choice and i do it because i love her dearly.
so im mom to two princesses.
Chloe age 7(Took her from a bad situation).
and Addison age 2.(she's my future husband's daughter too)
I'd do anything for them. I am a homemaker because that is what i love.


Stu works at a car dealership.
I have known him since i was 16 and got with him right before i turned 20(6wks before Addison's birth

Its been 2.5yrs. we are both still young
but we have lived together since week 1 and do plan to marry in 2013(on our 5yr).
We do not drink,party, or do any type of drugs.
we are very happy and content living clean healthy lives. :)
(well besides his cigarettes(& he only smokes OUTSIDE)
I scrapbook, cook nearly every night(he cooks sunday mornings.)
I crochet, sew by hand, basically i do alot of crafts for the girls. :)
I guess that about wraps it up(sorry im kind of bad at "about me"s)

you can ask questions if you have them.

Getting Chloe back.

I get Chloe back tomorrow,
I get Custody turned over to me again.
Because once again her 'mother' has fucked up.
Her parents are completely incompetant.
&I have lost respect for them completely.


Let me tell you why.
So im taking Chloe back because my step-sister, her 'mom'
(and i use this term losely)
Is not equipt to raise her,she lost her apartment, doesnt have a job,
her husband doesnt have a job....

Chloe's father"another lose term' refuses to be involved, help, send money, child support ect...and isnt stable himself.
They're staying randomly with unsafe people(bad situation for children) they have no money, theres drugs, alcohol, violence around.
Food stamps cut them off, housing cut her off. she uses her the child support money from her other daughters father for drugs.
she has now lost custody of her other kids because their Dad's stepped in.
(Mind you she'd got 3 kids. by three different guys, and wasnt married to any of them-really classy.)


and now i am doing them same.(i'd have done it sooner if
i knew it was that bad)
i have raised Chloe for a full two years before
this from ages 3-5 she is now 7.
I gave her back at age 5 because at that time there was some stability.


since then. Addison came into this world.
& Stu and I moved away for his job, and i thought Chloe was safe.
i visited, taking her every now and then.
Well my sister married some guy finally
(another deadbeat who cant keep a job though)
and then everything started going downhill...

I cannot respect her.
she expects to live for free.
she thinks(& has said) the government owes her because shes had 3 children.
(thank god she got tied,cut & burned)
she expects, housing and food stamps.
spends her daughter's child support money on drugs.
so the kids go without.
& they dont have clothes or shoes that fit.
muchless a bed to sleep in. and move constantly. so no stability.
her youngest has autism and has a form of being mentally challenged.
(its not downs. but im not sure the exact type he's got.)


We have decieded that when we get Chloe back this time and she signs over temp. custody back to me that we are not going to send her back,and if she challenges us, we will go to court and file against her.
she wouldnt win because of the lack of stability and drug use.


Chloe is 7 now. she's at a vital point in her life,
she needs to have stability, to feel safe again.
she deserves to be happy and thriving. its not fair to her.
she didnt do anything wrong and shouldnt have to live that way.
Its not her fault. i feel so guilty for ever giving her back to begin with.
but when i did, her mother was clean and stable(it obviously didnt last)

To top things off her "mother" also has been lowering her self esteem.
She chopped off her long beautiful curly hair and Chloe didnt want her hair cut, nor was there a need for it, Chloe told me via phone that she feels ugly now. because she was told that she looked less pretty with it cut, by her mom.



she smiled, at least. June 2010

So Chloe's at the age where she's losing teeth.
and her mom told her that the tooth fairy is too broke to give her anything
for her teeth.
I feel so bad for her, she'll have much better here.




heres the newest missing tooth pic.
she lost two there now. like a bunny.
July 2010

she also isnt allowed to be a prep because she doesnt want "a prep daughter"
Chloe likes girlie, pink, "preppy" things. and she was told she could only like "rocker" things. o.O who the hell tells a 7yr old that kind of thing.?!
seriously. thats crazy....!


Anyhow, i have had to spend 270 for the flight.
and then afterwards we are going to walmart to buy her clothes,
shoes and things.
& then ive got to get her re-ajusted to life with us.
Hopefully things go smoothly.
I think the hardest part with be instilling manners in her once again,
re-adjusting her sass mouth and getting her on a schedual.*sighs*

Ive already started shopping for her online trying to make sure she'll have everything.
Ive bought a bunch of clothes, some accesories, hair bows, and made a tutu for her, she deserves to have fun too. she's a little girl and she only gets to be one for a limited amount of time. so im going to make sure she enjoys it.
My childhood wasnt the greatest, i want hers to be better.
she's a good girl,she deserves it.



Some Photos:

Chloe-age 3- 2006







Chloe- age 4- 2007





Chloe age 5- 2008

Her 5th Birthday






Chloe- age 6- 2009








Halloween 'o9


Chloe- age 7- 2010

February'1o








Valentines 2010





Im really anxious about getting her,
we have to get her a booster seat on the way to the airport.
and everything else we will go back to walmart for.

Alexander Nickoliah (5.17.04)and Hayden Alexis(4.15.07)

Alexander Nickoliah;


Taken 5.17.09 His 5th.
♥ Love forever.

Today six years ago, was the absoute worst and best day of my entire life.
It was the day i gave birth to you. my perfect son, my first born.
I didnt plan on you being born until July 22nd. You were early.
I know you tried to stay in there even though the bastard that helpped create you forced you to come early.



im so sorry Honey, i wanted so much more for you, you didnt deserve this.
I blame myself everyday;beyound the circumstace, i wanted you & i loved you entirely baby boy.
I hope you know that. I know i am stronger now because i dont have you, but selfishly, i still want you here with me.




Its been 6yrs. and I wonder who you would be, how smart you'd be and how you'd act, what you'd like & how life would be.
Everyone told me that it gets better, easier in time, but it doesnt. I still think of you everyday
& every year around your birthday i break down.




('08 his 4th birthday)


Born May 17th 2004
4lbs 2oz 16inches long.
Born at 2:02pm.





I still remember the first time i held you.you were tiny, fragile, beautiful, perfect.
you had a little patch of blonde hair and the most beautiful blue eyes
and you stuck out your tiny tounge when you looked at me,
before they took you away to the nicu,
i kissed you, and told you that i loved you
and you made the cutest little sound.



That was the only time i got with you before you passed away.
I wish it were more, but at least i have those memories.
at least i told you that i loved you.
That Day, broke my heart, and since that day, i have never been the same.
I love you Alexander, i miss you dearly sweet baby.




Someone once said that death is not the greatest lost in life,
the greatest lost is what dies inside of us while we live,
and we tell ourselves that its all gonna be okay,but its not ok,
there's no magic in the world, at least not today there isnt.
Rest Peacefully,Beautiful son of mine. I still cant believe you'd be 6 today....
Happy Birthday Alexander Nickoliah, Mommy loves you and misses you everyday. ♥




Today the tears flow heavy, and it hurts to breathe.
today i wish i could kill that man for what he did to my son, to me. for everything he took.
today my heart is broken and i wish i could die too.
today i feel like jumping into the ocean and letting the current pull me under.
today is my son's birthday. it should of been a happy day,
i should be smiling and watching him blow out his candles on his 6th birthday cake.
But instead today i cry, and i cry hard
and i could only imagine how my son would be because the time i should have had with him was stolen.
Today is the worst day of the year and nothing can make it better.

--------------------------------------


I didnt put what i wrote for Hayden
on her 3rd birthday last month on here. so here it is.
April 15th 2010




Today is a very hard day for me. as are alot of days. i miss her very much. i cant believe it's been 3yrs already. Oh my sweet Hayden. i hope you know i always wanted you, my sweet daughter; there wasnt never a doubt in my mind i would love you just the same, regaurdless of any condition you would have. i fought for you. against the terminal pregnancy and all.




But fate had different plans. and heavan needed you more than me, i supposse. i wish it would have been different. but i know you would have had a hard life. so i guess its better this way, for you.



I miss you everyday, but today is certainly your day. I am selfish, because i want you here with me. I wanted to be your mommy. i wanted to have you regaurdless of what i was told, reguardless of how hard everything would be for you.





I know you would have had difficulties, i know that i would have had to care for you your whole life, and you would be limited, but you were my daughter, and to me you would always be perfect. beautiful. flawless. Your father might not have always been around, but i would have done everything i could to make sure you would have had the best possible life. and i am very sorry you suffered so much in my womb, i wish i could have protected you from everything. but i am sorry i couldnt Hayden.



I love you.-Mommy